i don't wanna...

i apologize for missing my post yesterday. i apologize for forgetting. i have been feeling so disconnected from the post for quite awhile and can't really explain why. However, i have no excuse.

Yes, i am wearing Your clip. Yes, it is making me uncomfortable. No, i don't want to be doing any of this.

my mood is so sour and i will try to change it by this evening. i really can't explain it either. When i was touching myself and thinking of You, i felt warm and happy. But, after leaving that place and entering back into reality, i feel cold and lifeless. i called Jane to see if she could do lunch, but of course she can't. i guess i can call Nathan. (Just got a call this very instant that Jane can go to lunch...) But the truth is i want to be with You. i know You are going to reply with some sappy response telling me You want to be with me too, but today i really don't want to hear it. i know we want to be together, but the truth is we can't and that really irritates me!!! Of course, taking it out on You is not appropriate either. i just am not sure that that is all it is.

You not being here makes so many things start running through my head. i never knew i could be so jealous. Like how the other day, when You came in my mouth it wasn't very much. Of course i started thinking that the reason You didn't cum alot is because You are cumming somewhere else. (Please don't tell me if i am right or wrong. i am just spewing my thoughts.) It really isn't any of my business, but it was what i was thinking.

i guess i am feeling disconnected. i don't like feeling disconnected, but i feel like i should somehow disconnect too to protect myself. You have a whole life seperate from me now. Before it was less because we were able to spend so much time together. But, now we can't and i am once again the true mistress, the one who gets a telephone call when You can get away or when You have "a spare moment" away from Your real life, the one who is backburnered. And to tell You the truth, i guess i would be okay with being the mistress if i was treated like the mistress. But lately i feel like the wife who is secondary to everything else and treated with disregard because there is a confidence that i will still be around in the end because of my loyalty and affection to You. And i know i am being backburnered for things that are setting up our future, so in that regard i know i am being a brat. It's really funny because i think You once expressed the same concern that our relationship was going to change because of our plans and now i am feeling it and don't know how to fix it.

This is sooooo stupid and totally unfair. i am going to try to snap out of it!!!

I need you

As I'm writing this, you are supposed to be wearing My clip. And, the thought of that makes Me very happy. I know you weren't in the mood when I told you to put it on, so it's probably a bit uncomfortable. Good. I hope you feel it there until it is time to take it off. I just wish I could be there to watch you play with yourself. I know you don't feel like it, but that's not your decision. I want you to think about Me. you should think about how happy you're making Me by being a good girl and following My directions. you should touch your clit and pinch your nipples while imagining Me watching you. I'll be thinking about those things and wishing I was there to tell you how gorgeous you are and how lucky I am to have a slut like you. I also wish I was there to push you to the ground, make you get on all fours, and spank your ass to remind you who you belong to -- Me. you belong to Me. you need to start remembering that.

you are my most prized possession. Never forget that.

No Post?

Sunday

I NEEDED THAT!!!

It is Tuesday and i am feeling lonely. You are not here and i have not talked to You. i don't really want to post and am only doing so in obeyance of Your rule. But, i don't have too much to say.

i miss You. i am trying to convince myself that every minute that passes puts me closer to being with You, but every minute that passes just feels empty. i need You to slap me and tell me everything is going to be alright. i need You to wrap Your hands in my hair and pull me to You. i need You to drown out my emotional pain with physical pain that You inflict. i need You to shove Your fingers into my pussy and feel how wet You make me with the slightest action of control. i need You to bend me over the chair and spank my ass until it is hot pink and until i am crying, letting it all out until You pull me into Your arms and kiss away my tears.

a.

Hi...

Goodnight my Owner.
Sleeptight.
Tomorrow is another day for us to be together.

i'll be thinking of You when i am laying in my bed, wishing that You were laying next to me. The warmth of Your body radiating through my skin and into my heart.

Yours now and forever...

i know You have been having some concerns or worry about how our current status is affected by what we are planning, but i can't imagine not being Yours...ever. When we made this deal, this agreement to bring our relationship to this level (or have it be nothing at all) i didn't know if i could really do it, but i agreed because i didn't want to lose You. Now, i can't imagine our relationship any other way.

Perhaps we need to schedule "us" time. Perhaps You and i both need a reminder by stepping up the little things that are possible to do even when we aren't in "us" mode, but that remind us of who we really are. You know, i was thinking about Sarah's post and how i smiled when i read the part about the roses. Of course they had thorns. Do you think anyone else, except those of us who read her blog, knew the significance? We need to find stuff like that. i guess calling you Frederick instead of Fred, and not speaking until i am spoken to isn't cutting it anymore.

You're the Boss. Please tell me what You need so i can fulfill my role of pleasing You.

Yours,
Anastasia

Do You remember...?

Do You remember our first kiss?
Do You remember the first time You slid Your hand under my skirt?
Do You remember when we sat in the car and You proposed this arrangement?
Do You remember the first time i told You i loved You?
Do You remember how it felt to know that You were the center of my universe? (still true!)
Do You remember the first time You made love to me?
Do You remember the first time You fucked me?
Do You remember...?

i love remembering!!!