Last Night

I'm sorry if I'm asking too much. When I'm not feeling well, I don't want to be 'babied'. In fact, I very much resented your implying that I was 'complaining without words' by coughing or whatever. You're right, I don't get sick often. Doesn't that lead you to believe this is not just me exagerrating. I fucking hate this. The sick feeling in my stomach. The crap running from my nose down my throat. The coughing and praying I won't need to grab a garbage can. That said, I do not want to be coddled. I want you to act as if everything's fine. As I said in the beginning, I'm sorry if that's asking too much, but it is the way I feel.

I'm glad you had a good day. I certainly didn't intend to ruin it. I worked very hard today, and I really didn't feel appreciated. Maybe that's just my problem. I don't even know what I expected you to do or say. I just didn't feel like I was getting what I needed. I don't know. It probably goes back to my being sick. I felt you should be happy that you were able to take care of yourself and your personal things, and that you should allow me a bit of crankiness as my 'reward' for, not only agreeing that you should do those things, but insisting that you do them. I suppose my allowing you to be happy doesn't equate to your allowing me to be unhappy, but in my mind it does.

I apologize for my behavior. I am dearly wishing for a 'good day' today. We've worked hard. We deserve it. I'll put on my game face, no matter how I really feel. I hope you know me well enough to know that.

I'm sorry if I seemed cold. I'm still concerned that you're not really okay. I'm feeling better about myself, but I guess it's a bit harder to feel better about us. I don't feel like you're okay. It's probably a vicious cycle: I don't think you're okay, I act cold to keep from pushing you or feeling hurt myself, you feel my cold behavior and back off a bit, and I interpret your behavior as meaning you're not okay. And around we go again. Regardless, I'll try to act 'normal', although I'm not even sure what that means any more.

Well, it's late and I really need a warm, comfortable bed and some rest. So, I'm going to close this for now. I hope we get a chance to talk tomorrow.

With love,
F.

Have i told You lately...

Have i told You lately how much i want You? Have i told You lately how sexy You are when You use power tools? Have i told You lately how committed i am to making this work? Have i told You lately how proud i am of You? Have i told You lately how brilliant i know You are? Have i told You lately how sexy You are even when You aren't using power tools?? (smile) Have i told You lately that i belong to You, Frederick?

a.

So busy...But not too busy...

Quick posting because want to make sure i comply. But, i really want to contribute to the story that i started on mine. Maybe tomorrow after You are gone...

a.

No Post.

No post. my Master had me a little preoccupied last night. i am trying to work on my other post and hopefully will have more to add soon.

No Post?

I guess you've earned that spanking you want. Hmmm. It's probably a bad idea to reward your failure to obey. So, I still expect this week's post. Get it done before the end of the night. I'll give you your punishment soon. Until then, you can just wonder what it will be.

Just checking.

Came here to see if You posted after our conversation last night because You usually do. i feel like we left things unsettled. But, maybe there is no settlement of our issues. Instead they are a work in progress.

All i know is that i can not live without You. So, we have no choice but to keep working on it.

Until the end of time,
a

Just a Post

Just a quick post to comply.