Learning Process

Okay, so i really felt better today after talking to You last night. But, then i got Your e-mail this morning. i appreciate the trouble You had to go to to find a computer and send me an e-mail while on board, but i find it interesting that You couldn't make a ship-to-shore call to "check in." (i told You before You left that You probably wouldn't have cell service out of the country.)

So, now i am upset again because i won't talk to You until tomorrow. And, i'm a little irritated that the minimal effort seems to be enough. But, You have never been through this experience before and so, maybe (giving You the benefit of the doubt) You didn't know you could make such a call...or maybe calling from a pay phone in town never crossed Your mind...instead You get to go off on Your little tour or whatever and think "Oh well, I can't talk to her today."

i do feel like You want to make contact but You just aren't being very creative about how to do it. That seems to be a recurring theme in our relationship. You have always had difficulty finding "time to get away to make a call." Like i said yesterday, i put myself in jeopardy to call You all the time and You have a legitimate reason to call me...with this big presentation coming up...even if she or anyone else is around! So here i am again alone and without contact.

Anyway, i am back to feeling sorry for myself, feeling jealous that You are away and don't have to think about this place, and feeling anxious about Saturday, and feeling totally unsupported.