Dammit

Dammit! I'm sorry about the attitude flip on the phone today. Apparently, I'm still fucked up. Surprised?!? I doubt it.

I'm so screwed up that I originally started to write a post here to tell you why I flipped on you. For a brief moment, I actually let myself believe I had a legitimate reason to be upset. Ha! Once I started writing the post, it quickly became obvious that the only problem here is Me.

I am having the damnedest time right now, and I apologize. you shouldn't have to put up with this, but I'm glad you've been willing and able to, so far.

Thank you for not calling Me out on the attitude flip. I could tell you wanted to. I could hear you holding back. Wanting to ask what the problem was. If you had asked, I would have said something that made total sense to my fucked up brain, but had no grounding in reality. Thank you for not asking. Thank you for letting Me realize for myself that I was being a moron. Thank you for acting as if I hadn't just turned into an asshole and for simply finishing the conversation as near to normal as possible.

I'm really trying to get my shit together. When I do, I hope you're there, and I hope you find the good times are worth going through the tough times. I do.