Unsure...
Today i had an experience i wish i hadn't. Once again, i have been accused of being "not nice" and "negative." i don't understand it. i try really hard to be accommodating and thoughtful. i bend over backwards to do everything i can to please others, including having my personal needs or wants back-burnered.
Can i not tease someone without it seeming like i am being mean? Can i not be blunt and express my opinions (which sometimes i hold back) without being accused of being a bitch?
Do You think i am a negative person? (Gosh, i don't ever want that.) Do You think i complain a lot? More than the average person? Boy, i feel like i need to really need to take a look in the mirror because i just don't see those things about myself.
Missing You today!!!
a.
Can i not tease someone without it seeming like i am being mean? Can i not be blunt and express my opinions (which sometimes i hold back) without being accused of being a bitch?
Do You think i am a negative person? (Gosh, i don't ever want that.) Do You think i complain a lot? More than the average person? Boy, i feel like i need to really need to take a look in the mirror because i just don't see those things about myself.
Missing You today!!!
a.
posted by Anastasia at
12:55 PM
2 Comments:
I understand you are upset by this, but try to look at the bright side. If you hadn't had a friend willing to confront you on this, you might have never realized how you were being perceived.
you are accomodating and thoughtful, but that isn't the same as being "nice." you do try to please others, but you sometimes expect something in return and, if you don't get it, you become resentful. That "something" might be just appreciation from the other person, but people don't always show that. I suggest you don't give of yourself unless you can do so freely without ANY expectation in return.
As for teasing, some people just do not take it well - especially when they are being confronted with their faults. It may be true, but that doesn't mean they will accept it gracefully. For example, I was a bit bothered when you said something about Me walking fast for a guy with such short legs. Yes, it's true that my legs are short, but I am sensitive about it and I certainly don't need to be reminded. I know you didn't mean to hurt Me, but it certainly didn't make Me feel good, either.
Being blunt is often not the best approach. There are times when it is appropriate, but it is situational. Even when it is appropriate, you might still be perceived as a "bitch." Sometimes, that might even be what you should be striving for. Unfortunately, that's the way it is.
At times, you can be a negative person. you don't complain more than the "average" person, but you do complain more than some people (and less than others). you want what you want when you want it. There's a line between being a "bitch" and being a "doormat" that's not always easy to find. I know you don't want to be either and, if you are closer to one than the other, it would be the "bitch." So, what? Would you really rather be perceived as a "doormat?" I don't think so.
I know we've already talked about all of this, but I just can't help but reply.
you are a wonderful, caring person. you can't please everyone, and you certainly can't please everyone all of the time. If you are unhappy with how you are being perceived and want to "improve" yourself in this area, I will do anything I can to help. On the other hand, I am happy with you as you are and don't think you need to change.
you are a good person and mmpp. Everything else is secondary to that.
By
Frederick, at 10:52 AM
So i guess You're my mirror. This was a little difficult to read and a little difficult to hear yesterday. But, i guess there comes a time in everyone's life when they're supposed to face the negative things about themselves.
i am sorry if i hurt Your feelings. i love Your legs. Short or not they are strong and muscular and feel so good in between mine.
Thank You for trying to soften the load at the end, but it is a lot to digest and on this issue i guess i just need some time to sort through it.
By
Anastasia, at 2:01 PM
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