Our Future

i was imagining our future life together and i got to thinking about what it will be like to have You all to myself all the time. The thought filled me with warmth and then suddenly i was overcome with fear. When we are finally together will we become normal...vanilla? Will we fight over the mundane things like paying bills, grocery shopping, keeping the house clean...??? i can't imagine it because now when we feud it is about lack of time, attention, etc. But, will all that change when we are 24/7? Will You get tired of my bitchiness and will i tire of Your moodiness? Will you get bored with me because You have exactly what You want and there is no strife, no longing, nothing to look forward to? Will we be able to sustain the level of d/s that we both envision right now? Will You still love me 20 years from now or will our relationship have grown old and comfortable? In the end, will i be enough for You?

When i think about how i would like things to be, i am anxious for You to be so strong, confident, and dominating; controlling every aspect of our lives. i want everything to change for You...Gone are the days of calling for permission and getting clearance. i want You to tell me how things are going to be and i will be secure in the knowledge that You considered all factors and took my feelings and needs into account before making the ultimate decision. (This is where i continue to have problems, not because of You, but because of my insecurities. Luckily we have time to work on it.)

i look forward to the day that i am able to undress in the garage and put that collar on before coming into the house. i want to share moments at Your feet and snuggle up to You in our bed, feeling completely safe and warm. i look forward to being completely submissive, knowing that i can be because You will never leave me, never take Your domination from me.

Until then, i am Yours in every way i can be and in every way You will have me.

anastasia