The Apology
she came to the entrance of the room, obviously tense and uncomfortable. Upon taking the first step into the room, she knelt on the hard, cold stone floor. she knew she had a punishment coming, and she knew it was going to be harsh. Would He reject her? Would He abandon her? she had deliberately manipulated Him in a place where He could not overtly assert His control. she knew He hated His inability to outwardly control her at all times and she was supposed to be extra careful when they were in public to pick up on His needs, wants, and commands. Yet, He had been very clear with His demand and she chose to disobey. She knew He wouldn't argue with her.
In her mind she had rationalized the behavior. she had begged Him to let her out of the task and he did. At the time she hadn't thought He would be so upset. After all, if He truly wanted her to do it, He could have not let her out of it. But He did because He didn't want to argue with her and He didn't want her to cause a scene.
she had hoped He would understand her reluctance. she had hoped He would love her enough to realize that what He was demanding caused her whole body to get cold with fear. she could have used her safe word...But she didn't. Instead she almost caused a scene. And that was unacceptable!!!
she had retrieved her collar from its resting place and, although she hadn't had to wear it in a long time because she didn't need a reminder of his ownership anymore, she had put it on uncomfortably tight around her neck. she hoped it would please Him.
she crawled to the center of the empty room secretly wishing with all her might that the punishment would not be His shunning her. That truly was the worst punishment in his arsenal. her fear of abandonment ran deeper than any other emotion. He knew that and He rarely used it against her. But, she knew she deserved it this time.
So, upon reaching the center of the room, cold, naked, and alone, she sat back on her knees and waited. Then she began to cry and although He was not there to hear her, through her tears she whispered, "Frederick, please forgive me."
In her mind she had rationalized the behavior. she had begged Him to let her out of the task and he did. At the time she hadn't thought He would be so upset. After all, if He truly wanted her to do it, He could have not let her out of it. But He did because He didn't want to argue with her and He didn't want her to cause a scene.
she had hoped He would understand her reluctance. she had hoped He would love her enough to realize that what He was demanding caused her whole body to get cold with fear. she could have used her safe word...But she didn't. Instead she almost caused a scene. And that was unacceptable!!!
she had retrieved her collar from its resting place and, although she hadn't had to wear it in a long time because she didn't need a reminder of his ownership anymore, she had put it on uncomfortably tight around her neck. she hoped it would please Him.
she crawled to the center of the empty room secretly wishing with all her might that the punishment would not be His shunning her. That truly was the worst punishment in his arsenal. her fear of abandonment ran deeper than any other emotion. He knew that and He rarely used it against her. But, she knew she deserved it this time.
So, upon reaching the center of the room, cold, naked, and alone, she sat back on her knees and waited. Then she began to cry and although He was not there to hear her, through her tears she whispered, "Frederick, please forgive me."
posted by Anastasia at
12:15 PM
1 Comments:
I'm sorry, but I don't have much time to write. Please know I have not abandoned you. you will be punished. you have been forgiven. you are loved.
Frederick
By
Frederick, at 5:42 PM
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